There are certain qualities that a man can exhibit that are universally attractive to women. Even if a man is not a woman’s particular “type” if he has cultivated these qualities she will experience “turn-on” when in his presence. This mini-series is a primer to the 8 Qualities that we teach in depth during our live events.
Grounding – What Is It / What Do I Mean?
A lot of men are walking around in life ungrounded. What does this mean? Grounding is a term borrowed from electrical engineering. In other words, energetics. Electricians talk about grounding themselves for safety so they don’t get hit with too much powerful energy or shocks. It’s the same principal when in the domain of human relationships and attraction.
Culturally we often use electric-themed metaphors to speak about romantic attractions, “is there a spark?” “I saw her and was stuck by a bolt of lightning.” Even when we say, “there’s chemistry” we are referring to world of energetic reactions.
When I say “being grounded as a man,” it refers to that man’s ability to receive energy or stimulus from the outside world and to not become reactive or lose his cool. To be able to channel that energy so he doesn’t become overwhelmed by anxiety or nervousness in his body. Grounding helps you relax and allows you to operate much better under pressure or tension.
Why It’s Important
Women deeply desire men that can handle tension and the challenges of the world while still staying open and connected to their emotions and the emotions of others. A man who is grounded is able to take care of his own needs but still has the extra capacity available to connect with and support her as well. When a grounded man is present, women feel safer to be in their feminine around him.
How To Develop It
A. Deeper Relationship To Your Legs
A key part of cultivating more groundedness is developing a stronger relationship to your legs. Really being able to feel into your legs and their connectedness to the ground. Your legs wherever they are planted should feel rooted into the Earth itself.
B. Your Pelvis
Most men have no relationship to their pelvis either. They don’t have the muscular specificity or control to isolate their pelvis in movement. Your pelvis should be able to rock back and forth. (Note: Moving your hips back and forth is NOT the same thing as actually rocking your pelvis! Women know and feel the difference.)
It’s an awareness you have to develop over time, but being in touch with and connected to your pelvis is a powerful body signal that communicates directly to women’s turn on.
C. Release The Perineum
Yes, that’s right, the ass. If you’ve ever been described as a “tight ass” then I’m talking to you. You have to learn to release this area of your body. Having tightness in this area comes from insecurity and a sense of having a lack of “safety” that you built up over time. Often it’s around how you’re moving through the world. When you focus on releasing the perineum you again begin to develop a deeper awareness of the energy within your own body and how it all connects together.
D. Chest Slaps
A quick practice to test your level of comfort here is to have a friend give you some light, non-painful slaps on the chest. Just enough force for you to feel it in your body. Then notice how your whole system does with this tension, can you relax into it? Or do you tighten up? If you can feel as sense of flow with it, you’re heading in the right direction.
The goal is to feel the energy from the slap flow down as it’s grounding through your body, down your legs, through your feet and into the ground.
Then start to build awareness of it in conversation. When you talk to someone that’s being tense, can you feel the tension coming at you run down through your body and get a little more relaxed than before?
Remember, this is a quality to cultivate over time. Even 1% growth in this area is significant and has a huge compounding effect as you continue to consistently practice and develop this awareness.