Nice guys will often have trouble saying ‘no’ to attractive women. They don’t like making decisions because decisions mean tension. Tension means the possibility of being rejected.
They want to make sure whatever they do and say will be pleasing to women and acceptable to society overall.
To put it simply, nice guys typically don’t have a vision for their own lives. Whatever vision they do have for their live is derived from what society and others say it should look like. They don’t ever want to “rock the boat” if they can avoid it.
They have a weak self-concept and it results in poor boundaries in their relationships. When a man, or a woman for that matter, has poor boundaries it almost always acts like a magnet to attract in people who will take advantage of them.
If a man wants to overcome his nice guy, one way to begin chipping away at that program and accompanying mindsets is to develop a rock solid vision for who you are and what your life is about.
Creating and cultivating a strong vision for your own life will begin to subconsciously shift you away from nice guy behaviors as your life begins to align around your true core values and desires.
This means really checking in with yourself all the time. Especially when you are new at this and it doesn’t come automatically yet. It helps to take some time and journal out your grander vision for you life. This way you have an ideal in which you can measure your current experience.
Crafting A Vision For Your Life
Sit down and write out a vision for your life and don’t hold anything back. Consider all your dreams and aspirations in all areas of your life. Think of your long term goals and immediate desires.
Really dig in.
You could even take a week or longer on this. It’s your blueprint for your masterpiece. My own vision statement hits on every aspect of my life including business goals, travel, fitness, health, emotional well-being, relationships, and even sexual desires.
Go all out.
Play with your word choice. Read them and say them out loud – what makes you feel the best and lightest? Also make sure it’s feasible. You can’t spend 2018 traveling the world while simultaneously building a seven-figure business. Hell, maybe you can, and being as specific as possible will help you determine what exactly you want your reality to look like.
Once you’ve created your vision, you can go back and change it whenever you want. Review it daily. Really. You will start to see all your choices in life as either in alignment with your vision or not. This re-patterns your brain to put your wants and needs first. Before you know it you will be completely plugged into following your own path and this will aid in getting symptoms of the nice guy to drop away.
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Or if you’re really ready to dive into an intensive and personalized small-group workshop, click here to learn about The Experience workshop! Our September workshop in Las Vegas is extra special because I’m adding half a day to the workshop (so it’s 3 full days) and bringing in Zan Perrion as a special guest teacher. Read about it here.