When men approach women, they often make a tragic mistake. They think that they’re in the game to get something from the woman they’re trying to seduce. Get her to have sex with them.
And this is one surefire way to fail with women.
Most guys are trying to figure out how to impress a woman. They’re trying to figure out how to win her over, how to get validation from her, how to get her to like them, how to get her to go on a date, how to fuck her basically. When you try to give people exactly what you think they want, it’s because, unconsciously, you’re thinking that if you give them what they want, you can get from them what you need. That is actually manipulative. And obvious. And it shuts people off.
If you’re the one going to talk to somebody to introduce yourself, you’re giving value to start that interaction. Why should a person engage with you if you’re not coming
from a place of authenticity, connection, feeling?
You need to be in the mindset that you are interacting with a woman to give to her. This doesn’t have to mean that you are catering to her. That would actually also be trying to take from her.
But when you’re actually in touch with what you’re feeling in your body, what happens when you got up to talk to someone, if you’re truly coming from a place of authenticity… Is that they feel your curiosity, your interest, your emotions. In a sense, the way I look at it, when I talk to somebody I want to feel like I’m opening in my body, my core, my heart, my stomach and really letting my emotions transfer to them.
It sounds kind of woo woo, but… it works. And I want to make sure that I’m not asking anything in return, demanding that they talk to me. So if she doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s fine, there is no loss. Because I can move on and talk to somebody else.
If she doesn’t answer, some people think “She’s disrespecting me, she’s a bitch”… And nothing could be further from the truth. She simply doesn’t know you.
The only way her not talking to you could mean anything… Is if you let it mean something, you make it mean something.
Here’s a story to illustrate that point.
There was a Buddhist monk that nobody could ever offend or bother. And a man said, “Well, I’ll take up the challenge!”. And he went over to monk and started insulting him. And the monk didn’t say anything. Stayed calm as can be. So, he left, thought about it and said “I’m gonna go back, give it another try. “ And he tried a second time, this time, screaming at him. Still nothing.
So he left and thought about it some more. He came back a third time, but this time he asked the monk: “I’ve come over here and hurled all kinds of insults and you didn’t react. You didn’t stand up to me, you didn’t say anything back. How do you do that?”
And the monk answered: “If I give you a present and you don’t accept it, who does the present belong to?”
Nothing can bother you unless you let it bother you.
Nobody out there has that ability to affect you emotionally.
If someone hits you, and you need to defend yourself, sure, you will be affected and you will need to react – but that is impossible to compare with a woman not responding to you. The most attractive quality in a man is his ability to just let go and let it not mean anything.
And if you want to dive deep with me on this and so much more, and kick your tail into action for two nights with like-minded men, check out The Fearless Man Live seminar.