I talk a lot about the concept of polarity. Sexual polarity to be specific. How to create it and how to become a man that exudes the type of masculine energy women find irresistible.
Lack of polarity is one of the common obstacles many men face when it comes to attracting women and then keeping relationships alive.
Masculine energy is a penetrating, decisive, forward-driving energy.
The masculine steps into and manages tension. (If you’re not familiar with the FEARLESS philosophy on tension, watch this video to get caught up.)
As a man, you’re wired for it.
In primitive societies, men naturally took on the roles of hunter, warrior, and chieftain. These are all roles that provide for the safety, security, and prosperity of the tribe on the deepest levels.
The hunter brings back game from an uncertain wilderness – literally keeping everyone alive. The warrior is physically strong and has the ability to fight and to kill any significant threat to the group. That’s a guy you want to keep around. And then there’s the chieftain. He’s wise and socially powerful. He’s the decision maker everyone defers to and relies on.
And this is why women became naturally attracted to masculine men. A woman needed a man who could handle tension well to protect her and their children, to procure food and set up shelter, and to not lose his cool under pressure.
The environment was a natural fit to keeping our masculine energy active. Resources were scarce, the world was more dangerous, and your actions and outcomes were heavily tied to survival. You had to perform constantly.
You had to embody the masculine – all day, everyday.
And women had to embody and performing the feminine.
In brief, the feminine is about care taking and emotional expression – that can come in all forms from a woman’s soothing love for her family to, as Way of The Superior Man author, David Deida puts it, “shivering earthquakes of anger through her body as she hurls hail storms at him for being less than he is capable of.”
Like the saying, “opposites attract,” these two energies polarize each other, and a masculine man makes a woman feel safe fully expressing her feminine, because she knows he can handle her feminine energy and that he’s going to protect her (emotionally in modern life as much as physically).
But we’ve lost touch with these roles.
As we’ve continually progressed as a society, we’ve gained much greater access to abundance and comfort. A woman can now be as much a provider as a man, and we simply don’t have the same safety concerns that we did in the days of cave men.
Overall, this is a great thing, but without the tension of survival being on the line, it’s easy for the masculine to get soft – if you ever really developed it in the first place.
Our modern focus on logic and analysis (think about the prevalence of analytical, heady careers these days vs physically demanding and life-or-death jobs) tends to put us in our heads all the time and disconnect us from our masculine energy…and our bodies as a whole.
It’s easy now to “survive” – to just go through the motions of life.
Read that again.
“To just go through the motions.”
But what does that mean? Let’s think about it.
It’s what happens when you get stuck in the rut of work, home, tv, bed — work, home, tv, bed. It’s when you’re coasting through the present moment, running your life on autopilot.
The world is impressing its will upon you, but only because you are letting it. Your masculine power either is shut down or you’ve let it grow dormant, forgotten about it. Or maybe you never really accessed it much at all growing up.
You’re in your head, largely cut off from a real connection and awareness of your body and emotions. And it’s becoming more aware and connected to your body that will help you awaken your masculine.
There are many ways to do this. The masculine grows through challenge and competition.
Some suggestions (Keep reading below for a crucial piece – the secret most miss!):
The secret with all these things is consciously slowing down your analytical mind and developing more connection and feeling in your body as you do these activities. Especially your lower body – yes, your balls and entire groin/pelvic area, but the backs and outsides of your legs, and your heels also represent your masculinity.
Let’s take the weight-lifting example – an iconic activity of masculinity.
Wherever you’re at – whether it’s 10-pound bicep curls or 50-pounds or more, it can be easy to shut off feeling and just power through the exercise from your head. Like we talked about above, going through the motions but not deeply in touch with your body.
I want you to really become aware of and focus on how the tension on your muscles feels as you do the exercise. Really get in touch with your body throughout each rep.
Continually focus on exercises, weights, and numbers of reps that challenge you. Remember, the masculine (and your body, for that matter) grows through challenge.
After each set, take a moment as you rest to really appreciate the challenge you just faced, the healthy pain you’re feeling, and the masculinity you should feel from all of that – and the testosterone that’s unleashed into your blood.
As you walk out of the gym after your workout is over, again feel appreciation for the challenge you took on, the pain – and growth happening from the pain, the endorphin and testosterone spike, and the overall feeling of masculinity in your lower body.
This same kind of process can be applied with all the activities I mentioned and more. Continue to challenge yourself, and continue to consciously get in touch with your body and masculine energy and feel it expanding.
The more you grow and conquer new territories of life, the more your masculine can grow. This could be gaining new skills, new capacities, more and better resources, or social connections.
As you gain comfort and reacquaint yourself to being with your natural masculine energy in any domain of life, it will begin to spill over into the others. This includes women, sex, and dating.
Using these experiences of getting in touch with and expanding your masculinity, face the tension of walking right up to a woman who catches your eye, while feeling your turn-on and feeling your lower body, feeling masculine, and telling her she’s sexy or that _____ about her drew you to her.
You’ll be amazed what kind of reactions you start to get when you do this while more and more in touch with your body, masculinity…and of course your sexuality.
All you need to do to start is to notice the feelings in your body as you spend time doing masculine things – this is the feeling of your masculine power coming home to you.
And if you’re ready for two jam-packed days of turbo-boosting your growth…learning in-person with me and the beautiful FEARLESS models for an extremely affordable price, check out The Fearless Man Live. (Links below.) I set the ticket prices low enough for this event that anyone who’s even a tiny bit serious about their growth should be able to afford it.