One of the biggest things that slows people down in their personal development is that they see themselves as broken. Those who grow fast see themselves as perfect – they’re learning new skills or expanding their experiences.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in May 2017.
So learn to love yourself and seeing yourself as enough just the way you are. No woman or man will ever make you feel enough – that is going to be on you.
“This day, I vow to myself to love myself, to treat myself as someone I love truly and deeply – in my thoughts, my actions, the choices I make, the experiences I have, each moment I am conscious, I make the decision I LOVE MYSELF.”
― Kamal Ravikant, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
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If you’re learning how to play the piano, drive a car, be a (insert profession), speak a language, or play a sport…are you broken because you don’t have that skill-set yet? Of course not-you’re simply expanding your skills and life experiences. Too many people that get into personal growth slow their self-development down-even make it a painstaking process-because they continue to operate from a mentality that they’re broken as people. This is especially true for men who have struggled with dating or relationships and were drawn to personal development or self-help to get better with women.
Being “broken” may be a subtle and/or subconscious belief but still very much be there. And that makes your growth and especially the expansion of your confidence very difficult, because underneath it all you have the belief that you’re broken so your mind is always on the lookout for data to reinforce that “truth”. You see what you’re looking for.
You’re not broken. You’re perfect just the way you are. You can scoff at that, but the sooner you start embracing it and looking for all the ways and areas you’re perfect as an expression of life…and successful and attractive and etc, the sooner you’ll start to see those things more and that will start to feel true, making you more confident and successful in your pursuits. This is NOT like “The Secret”-you can’t *just* expect to manifest success, money, or women into your life without action – you have to get out there and put in the work. But an extremely important part of the work and becoming highly confident is having the right mindset, having empowering mentalities and life and success philosophies, and turning up the volume on how you’re thinking and processing the world and your day.
If you’re really struggling, can you look at that as a challenge and huge opportunity? The stories of some of the most successful people are as impressive as they are *because* of how much they overcame to get there. So yes, it comes back to perspective-glass half full or glass half empty-for the drive and efficiency that goes into your work growing as a man (or woman-we do have female clients).
See another video on mentalities and training your mind in your personal development: The Power of Indifference to Outcome and Letting Go
If dating or becoming more attractive to women is part of what you’re here for, try going through this next week actively looking for women showing you signs that they’re interested. Over and over, students tell us “I see girls looking at me everywhere now!” That’s because they’ve adjusted their mindsets to look for that in the world, and as they start to see it, that builds confidence and self-esteem, which makes them more attractive…Along with getting out there putting in the work pushing their comfort zones and being social, it becomes an awesome cycle.
How do you ever expect to be good at talking to girls if your self-talk is poor? The same goes for your career, your finances, your health, and any other area.
Even being involved in personal growth can become a pain point if you let it: “I need this because I’m such a failure – my friends are confident and successful without any of this.” Don’t think that way – THAT IS WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK! Be proud of yourself for being committed to being a better, more confident man. And be excited for all the opportunity you’ve got to grow!
Imagine how much more satisfaction you’re going to get out of your massive success than someone who fell into it “naturally,” or someone who’s mediocre (but in a better spot right now, compared to you) and settled because mediocrity wasn’t painful enough to make them work their ass off: going through their fears, their bullshit limiting beliefs, their pain, laziness, apathy, and insecurities.
You’re in a fantastic spot-a perfect spot-to succeed at elite levels and achieve your dream life.
