Whether you’re setting goals in dating, career, health, you’ve got to stay true to your gut about what you really want (even if it feels a little shallow) to be successful at – and happy with – achieving them.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in January 2016 as part of the “Inside FEARLESS” series. The video was taken from The Experience Intensive – click here for more information on our events.
It’s cliché to say “follow your passions,” but it’s all too important to do just that in life and especially goal setting. If you chase certain goals or areas to focus on (career vs dating, for example) because you think that you logically “should” have or prioritize that goal or area instead of what you’re passionate about or driven by in your gut and your heart, you’ll lose interest. If you do “succeed” and make a habit out of living that way by way of sheer willpower or discipline, you still aren’t going to be truly happy or fulfilled down deep within yourself – that’s the path to (at best) numbing out to your true self, desires, and passions.
Look at the way the masses commute to and from their cubicals – or even corner offices, in many cases – every day, in a haze: go to work, come home, watch Netflix, go to sleep, go to work, pray for the weekend. It’s like the zombies in (maybe one of your favorite TV shows) “The Walking Dead.” And even many of the rich and successful aren’t truly happy because as we have heard and seen time and time again, money by itself does not buy happiness.
So be brutally honest with yourself and trust your gut when you set goals. If you think a goal you have is “shallow” or “should” be unimportant, but you know in your gut that you have a burning desire for it, set the goal and go for it anyway – pushing things away logically isn’t effective. Allow yourself to go after it, and if it turns out that it truly isn’t important, you’ll naturally let it go. But as they say, it’s always the things you don’t do (or go after) that you regret the most – not the things you do. Life is short – just go for it.
FEARLESS students realize very quickly that what we do and their confidence with women is actually about general (deep) confidence, self-esteem, and personal power and most do end up working at least to some degree on confidence and success outside of dating. But occasionally long-term students of ours who come in to work on getting better with women and their dating or relationship confidence but have societal or familial (or etc) shame around those goals will think that they “should” focus on their careers, finances, or general success and seriously de-prioritize confidence with women. And some other students will think (from their egos) that they “should” focus on dating success, but it’s very clear their passions are actually more about their business or career. Or they’ll think they “should” go after a certain career or type of relationship. Whatever the case is, we push them to go after the goals their heart and gut tells them, because resistance to their desires won’t set them up for success or fulfillment, much less their #dreamlife. And that’s usually fear-based thinking to some degree too.
Allow yourself to go after the goals you really want, course correct with brutal honesty and loyalty to your gut as you go, and you’ll find your true path and fulfillment.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in January 2016 as part of the “Inside FEARLESS” series. The video was taken from The Experience Intensive – click here for more information on our events.
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