Ok, so most of us aren’t truly in “Quarantine” for Coronavirus – more like isolation – social distancing and “Stay at Home” orders – but quarantine is sometimes more fun to say…and what it feels like at times.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in March 2020. We figured the holidays are a perfect time to republish it – especially this year. Enjoy, and happy holidays!
For our free 21 Days to Freedom During These Challenging & Uncertain Times webinar series that we’re putting on to support people in many different ways of making the most of your time stuck at home during the Covid-19 epidemic (you can still sign up at the link above and it comes with a special facebook group we created just for this series – all free), I put together a list of movies for guys to watch.
These movies are meant to help you with an area a lot of men are weak with or afraid of – feeling.
Because feeling our emotions fully, being comfortable with them, and being able to share them from both a simultaneously vulnerable, confident, and even masculine place is part of being a well-rounded, healthy, happy, successful…and attractive man.
So these are some of the films that tug at my heart, fill my eyes with tears, and help me feel what I have inside.
Editor’s Note: (We get a small commission when you make a rental/purchase through these links.) The Work – A documentary about group therapy behind prison walls. Holy smokes, I wept at least four times and gasped twice. All that pent up grief and anger released in a well-guided moment.Il Postino – Mario, a simple postman, befriends the great Pablo Neruda. Mario believes poetry will help him attract love. Eventually it does, and he’s launched not only into a beautiful marriage but into an expansive, albeit short-lived, role in the world. This movie is definitely heart-opening.
Tender Mercies – Robert Duvall plays a broken-down country singer, ruined by drink and demons (deep apathy) who finds salvation in Rosa’s simple life on the Texas plains. Considered the greatest American screenplay.
Casablanca – The greatest movie ever made, IMHO. Rick’s heart is cracked open when Ilsa walks back into his life. She awakens within him his true calling and now he can go back and fight the good fight, but he must let Ilsa go. (Just look at the complexity of emotion when he first sees Ilsa at the piano.)
Ordinary People – Holy smokes. This movie rips at my soul (probably because it triggers memories of my upbringing.) Donald Sutherland is a man married to a woman who can’t love. All seems wonderful on the outside until the death of his older son cracks his life wide open.
To Kill a Mockingbird – Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch, a small-town country lawyer who is called to defend a black man. You might feel your own nobility as you take this movie in. “Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passin’.” (I got a chill down the left side of my body when I wrote that.)
The Visitor – A man’s emergence from apathy to grief to hope. A university professor widower discovers the gift of feeling in his life by discovering the djembe (an African drum).
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle – The lone comedy. Harold has to survive a night of blowing weed, getting arrested, battling racist/extreme sports dudes and riding a cheetah in order to find the courage to kiss Maria. Fucking hilarious and yet a true hero’s journey.
The Intouchables – I’ve seen this movie four times and each time I gasp at the humanity, the masculine challenges, the growing love and respect between men. In brief, a quadriplegic billionaire hires a guy from the projects to be his “body man”, his arms and legs. One has the healthy brain, one has the healthy body, both needing each other to be complete. The new assistant shows him no pity, only challenges his sad story which is what the billionaire wants and needs. (Notice the billionaires journey from apathy to courage…so powerful and inspiring.)
Leon, The Professional – A professional hitman gives his life so the orphan girl can live. Her presence gives his soulless life new meaning, as well as his death.
Whale Rider – A story of a Maori chief in current day New Zealand whose tribe is struggling with disenfranchisement, drugs and poverty. He sets out to identify which boy has what it takes to be their next leader. Along the way, he has to let go of deep cultural beliefs around the roles of men and women to see the true future chief is his granddaughter.
Rudy – This movie always fills my heart. Damn, I tear up at least five times when I watch it. Based on the true story about a boy who dreams of playing for the Notre Dame football team. But the way his life starts to change and expand in unexpected ways as he pursues his dream is a lesson for all of us. Was it even his goal in the first place?
Won’t You Be My Neighbor? – A documentary about Mr. Rogers. Is he a saint? Maybe. The man cared deeply about helping children feel safe, making their emotions normal, and helping them to feel heard. A beautiful lesson in love, understanding and compassion.
Inside Out – In this Disney/Pixar animated film, all of young Riley’s emotions are brought to life – her fear, joy, anger, disgust, sadness – as characters in her head. One day her family moves from her childhood home and her emotions are thrown into chaos. It’s not till all of her emotions are able to work together that she finds true connection with herself, her life and her family. Watch it to see how her apathy moves up to sadness and eventually deepens her joy (CAP).
Thank you for your list, Sam. The movies are holy smoke indeed!
Cried watching Rudy.
Realized that I repress and have shame on my disgust much like my anger, and resent anyone who shows it watching the Inside Out.
Felt all kind of repressed emotions watching The Work and could sleep out of feeling my repressed fears – crazy!
Felt my love and appreciation for my innocent desire for women and my desire to learn to be good with them.
So, thank you.