In this video, Brian discusses how the core of the “nice guy” is always putting himself last – that’s one reason why, as the saying goes, “nice guys finish last.”
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in August 2019.
If you’re the type of “nice guy” who has little or no success dating, or you feel like you get walked all over by women (and probably many other people, too) and you’re resigned to the “nice guys finish last” idea, know that you’re not alone. Many of us at FEARLESS, Brian included, have been there…and we’ve also overcome it, so you can too.
But another thing you need to know is that – whether you realize it or not (you probably don’t if you still think women “just don’t appreciate nice guys”) – you’re not actually being genuinely generous when it pushes women and others away or results in them taking advantage of you. You’re actually being “nice” from a place of hoping for something in return, which is manipulative, and at the core of that, as this video is about, is fear of putting yourself first, so you try to get results in roundabout ways rather than upfront, self-respecting ways.
So, in this clip from an edition of The FEARLESS Man Live, Brian discusses:
-How “nice guys” are dishonest honest. And one of the reasons women tend to prefer the “Bad Boy” character over the nice guy is that bad boys are actually more honest and real than nice guys.
-How nice guys tend to go to great lengths of caretaking – taking care of everyone else – from a place of seeking validation or love.
-How nice guys believe their needs, wants, and desires are something to be ashamed of.
-The rampant sexual shame that nice guys have.
-How nice guy behavior can kill you in business and throughout your life because of a lack of healthy boundaries and avoidance of tension
-Nice guys’ biggest first date mistake – trying to impress and make her happy (“Does she like me?”) instead of coming from a place of “Do I like her?
-Why even many men with stereotypically courageous, tension-filled jobs like Navy SEALS sometimes are deathly afraid of approaching women they find attractive.
-And more!
