Today I want to dive into a topic that used to consume me: the art of approaching women. You see, I used to be overly analytical and focused on perfecting my lines and techniques. But I soon realized that true connection doesn’t come from memorized scripts or playing it safe. It stems from a deep sense of presence and genuine enjoyment of the person in front of you.
I vividly recall how, in my early days, I would approach a woman with a tense energy. I would lock up in my chest, tighten my throat, and even clench my stomach. My words would come out from the back of my throat, sounding rehearsed and distant. I’d nervously deliver my lines, trying to impress her. But all that energy was running out there, leaving me disconnected from the moment.
Even if I managed to overcome my nerves and deliver my lines flawlessly, I realized that I was still trapped in my head. It was as if I was observing myself from the outside, constantly judging and analyzing. I used to say things like, “Hey, you look like trouble,” almost mechanically. There was no genuine connection, just a facade.
However, I gradually discovered the power of dropping down into my body and letting go of the need for a specific outcome. I learned to relax my throat, chest, and even my stomach. By doing so, I could speak from a place of authenticity and heartfelt connection. It made a world of difference.
Connecting on a Human Level
There’s an undeniable flow and connection when you speak from this place. It’s no longer about putting on a show or impressing someone; it’s about truly connecting on a human level. By staying present and dropping into the core of your being, you can feel the warmth in your heart and the energy flowing through your hips. It’s a sensation that allows you to genuinely enjoy the person in front of you.
Now, I understand that some of you may already have the ability to feel, but you hold back due to fear and attachment to outcomes. Attachment creates anxiety and fear because you’re constantly worried about the result. Whether it’s the fear of rejection or the pressure to make a perfect impression, attachment robs you of the ability to stay present.
That’s why it’s crucial to learn to let go and release the attachment to outcomes. Allow yourself to process the emotions that arise, recognizing that they stem from past traumas and stories you tell yourself. The fear of not being good enough or special enough can cloud your interactions. But when you consciously let go and embrace the present moment, the walls come down, and genuine connection becomes possible.
The Power of Dropping Down and Connecting with Your Body
Let me explain how I discovered the power of dropping down and connecting with my body. It’s amazing how a subtle shift in energy and presence can completely transform a conversation. When I used to approach someone, I would lock up, tighten my chest, pull back into my throat, and speak from a place of tension. It felt forced and distant.
But then I realized that by dropping down and relaxing in my throat and chest, I could bring myself into the present moment and establish a genuine connection. I would approach someone with a relaxed energy, saying something like, “Hey, you look like trouble,” or “What are you drinking?” There was a noticeable difference in the way I delivered those lines. It became more about being in the moment and enjoying the interaction.
As I delved deeper into this practice, I learned to drop even lower into my body, connecting with my heart and stomach. This allowed me to genuinely enjoy the person in front of me and create a playful, energetic connection. Instead of being attached to outcomes or anxiously seeking validation, I learned to appreciate and enjoy the human being right in front of me.
By dropping down into my body and feeling the core of my being, I discovered that true connection and enjoyment were possible. I realized that I couldn’t genuinely enjoy another person unless I could feel my heart, stomach, and even my hips. It was a transformative realization.
Learning To Let Go of The Stories And Concepts We Create in Our Minds
Now, let’s talk about attachment to outcome. This is a common pitfall many of us face when approaching someone we’re interested in. We become fearful and anxious because we’re too attached to the result. Whether it’s the fear of rejection or the pressure of impressing the other person, this attachment holds us back.
So, the second step in this journey is to get unattached from the outcome. It’s about learning to let go of the stories and concepts we create in our minds. The subconscious mind may tell us that approaching someone can lead to hurt or disappointment, but it’s just a narrative based on past experiences.
When we learn to process these emotions and detach from the outcome, we free ourselves from fear and anxiety. Approaching someone becomes an opportunity for connection rather than a source of stress. It’s about being present in the moment and enjoying the interaction for what it is without worrying about the future.
Now, I want to address all those pickup techniques you may have come across. Whether it’s being direct, indirect, using humor, or pulling away, these techniques can work when you approach them from a place of genuine feeling and connection. They become tools to enhance your authenticity rather than tricks to manipulate or impress.
It’s All About Embracing the Present Moment and Enjoy Human Connection
Finally, remember that finding true connection and enjoyment in interactions is a journey. It requires practice, self-awareness, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Embrace the process, keep dropping down into your body, and stay unattached to outcomes. When you approach someone with genuine curiosity and a desire to connect, the energy flows, and real connections happen.
So, my friends, keep exploring, keep learning, and keep enjoying the beautiful human beings you encounter. Remember, it’s not about seeking validation or proving your worth. It’s about embracing the present moment, connecting with authenticity, and experiencing the joy of genuine human connection.
Stay tuned for the next part of this series, where I’ll bring together all the techniques we’ve learned so far and show you how banter, cockiness, and humor fit into the equation of connection.
Until then, keep feeling, keep connecting, and keep enjoying the journey.
